Autism or Not?

I was recently on a board where mothers were posting about an article. One mother said she did not like how all these other mothers claim their children who have some autistic traits have autism when really they do not. Her child who is older and non verbal has autism and is considered autistic by her.

I can not even imagine her pain being that my own child learned to speak at the age of 3 and 1/2 and hers is closer to 18 and can not speak. Does that really mean that my child does not have autism while hers does? This kind of hurt me a little.

I sometimes wonder how these kids can be so different not only in terms of background but in terms of abilities yet they are all on the same Spectrum. Now I hear they will take away the diagnosis of Aspergers and PDD-NOS all together in 2012. Here is the article i read on this. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/positively-autism/200912/no-more-asperger-s-syndrome

What does this mean for higher functioning children like mine who although they are verbal still have a lot of communication problems? Who have no friends and are not able to because approaching others their age is scary or because they do not have a clue what to say. What happens to the child who being high functioning appears normal but stims continuously because their surroundings and people are too much to handle? How could that child ever be considered not autistic by anyone?

What good are words if you do not have a connection to them or know how to use them appropriately. Do not misunderstand me I know how tough having a child who is nonverbal can be our son went through his worst times during that period. I would not wish those times on any parent but how can my child be less autistic because he has words. He is still the same reckless and impulsive child. Words gave him another way to express himself but they have not changed who he is. Through therapy we learned different ways to deal with meltdowns but let me tell you NO amount of words a child can say will make him stop melting down in a store or anywhere else for that matter.

Really this is more a crazy mom rant but I get worked up when people talk about what autism is and isn’t. If I could I would put myself in my child’s shoes and see what makes him tick. Why he has the most difficult time speaking how he can know and recite every line of his favorite book but when I ask him a question like When did you last pee in the toilet? Or any “Wh” question he has no response other than I peed on the toilet. He knows how to read a digital clock he can tell me what time it is but when asked a “Wh” it is almost like his brain disconnects. I am hoping the book I bought on social stories will
give me some answers on how to reframe questions to get an answer. If that does not work I will try to find a “Wh” book. I’ll write more when I find discover more on that topic.

Autism has been an extreme learning process for us. One that I have tried to submerse my self in. I don’t look for answers medically because I know there may never be any. I do search for perspective on autism all parts of the spectrum and an answer as to what I can do now. I can not change what may or may not have caused my sons autism so for me there is no sense in dwelling on it. For me and my family I only hope to understand why my son behaves in each manner and how I can help him be the best him he can be.

I hope for the sake of future children and their parents that some brilliant scientist or a team of them cracks the code and figures out
A) What the cause or causes of autism are

B) How to solve those causes before more children are born with or somehow develop autism

Until then all we can do is help the children we have now and do our best to raise awareness every when go!!

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About The Spectrum Mom

I am mom to two amazing children!! Jade my oldest is ten and Adrian is 7. My life happens to have one beautiful blessing in disguise the chance to be a mom to a child on the Autism Spectrum. Adrian was diagnosed with PDD-NOS on May 28, 2010 shortly after his sixth birthday. Since the start of our lives on the spectrum I have read books, watched numerous programs, found therapists, tried to navigate the public school system and special education. Looked into special diets (Adrian is currently on GFCF and we have seen tremendous improvement) and tried various medicines to help him. In addition to ASD Adrian also is diagnosed with ADHD and a seizure disorder BRE. This blog will mostly be about ASD and my life caring for Adrian.

Posted on August 9, 2011, in Family Life and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I agree with you Susan! Parents should not be looking for ways to separate their children. I understand the concern when other parents my not recognize the level of challenges that a mother of a non-verbal child faces. We have to show each other the acknowledgement that we each need, but at the same time, we can’t cross people off the list who we believe are less deserving of empathy. Something similar happens in diverse communities, but we get much farther by working together, than by trying to rationalize who’s suffering is more relevant. I’m sad to hear that Autism parents are going through this too. It’s a very touchy and upsetting issue.

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