I have not been writing a lot lately…
Adrian’s start to first grade has been anything but smooth.
He locked himself in the teachers bathroom and flooded it by running the water and plugging the sink about two weeks ago. He has done this once at home before but never at school. Water has always calmed him.
Then I got a report from his teacher that an aide will go with him for “specials” gym, art, ect. Because he can not handle these on his own. I did not think he would be able to as he often gets distracted and forgets what he is doing. He has a hard time following directions from anyone but me and even I have difficulty getting him to listen.
My husband had him for the afternoon while I dealt with an emergency. He took Adrian by himself shopping at Meijer. I was surprised when I got home and he said Adrian was stimming a bit but had no meltdowns in the store even after he asked daddy for a toy and batteries and daddy said no. My mouth almost dropped to the floor!!!
He has had fewer meltdowns every time we go to the grocery store. Two things that always trigger meltdowns though are saying no and lines. My husband said the woman behind him in line asked him if Adrian had Autism and he said yes how did you know? and she explained that her nephew also has Autism.
Adrian and I wait for his bus everyday in the office of our community and there is an older woman who sometimes runs the office who asked this week why Adrian rides a different bus then the rest of the children. I said because his bus is a special education bus. She looked at me and smiled and I started to tell her why. She said oh my Grandson is six and he also has Autism. Then I was on the phone with a nurse from Children’s Special Health Care Services a program which helps to pay specialist costs. Both of my children receive it because of Epilepsy. She was asking what disabilities Adrian has an I said he has Epilepsy, Kidney Disease, G.E.R.D., ADHD and Autism. I did not get into his Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and Auditory Processing Disorder because most people do not tend to know about those. He also has a mood disorder and sleep disorder. Anyways she said after I said Autism “oh it’s a very common thing to hear nowadays how sad” yeah it is sad and a challenge and
Probably the greatest gift I’ve given I wanted to say instead I said yeah and ended the call.
There will be people who always comment on how sad Autism is and then there will be people who know a little about it because it has touched their lives!!
For me I chose to focus on positives because that is how I will help my son most efficiently. If I dwelled on the sadness I would never have anything left. Depression would have swallowed me never-ending.
There are some people I have met who want to stay stuck in those bad moments. I can not have a pity party I don’t have time! If I only focused on the negative Adrian would not be as far as he is today. We would still have a boy who screams and yells because he can’t speak or breaks things because he is too frustrated and doesn’t know what else to do. He would not be trying to write or use the toilet or love his sister, daddy and I. We still have moments where he is absolutely frustrated but those are few from where they used to be.
Instead I have a son who saw his daddy was there to pick him up on Thursday and said Dad I’m so happy to see you! Then I came home at 6:00pm and the first thing I heard was Adrian saying mom your back I missed you so much. If that wasn’t enough then I went through Adrian’s backpack and found a happy note that said Adrian had such a good day today!!! The rest of the week until that day had been tough! So my son had an entire day without an accident or meltdown!! Amazing!!!!!
So for anyone who is sad about Autism I hope you find amazing days too!!!