Siblings

I started this post two weeks ago and am now finishing!!

I am feeling frustrated today!!!

Today and for some time now my husband and I have been trying to find the best way to solve a problem.

Our beautiful daughter Jade is turning ten on October 25th. She has been having issues with why Adrian who is seven will not play with her. They are only 28 months apart so. Even so he is in first grade she is in fourth. He has an Autism Spectrum Disorder she does not. There are commonalities between them though. They both have BRE a type of epilepsy, both have ADHD and both have APD Auditory Pocessing Disorder. That and they love playing the computer.

Adrian like many other children with an Autism Spectrum Disorder has many problems interacting with people his own age. It is baffling to see him try interact. He wants to speak to other children badly but does not know how. I think that is the major issue with his sister. She try’s to interact but in ways he does not understand. She is always trying to get him to play Thomas UNO and he tried once but did not understand and lost interest. One thing he loves is wii sports. I am always trying to get Jade to join him for wii sports. He gets so frustrated with her though because she takes everything over and tries to run whatever they are doing. Needless to say he does not do well with her taking over. This results in fighting. Both kids are upset and nothing good happens.

My husband and I try to anticipate these fights and seperate the kids before things become too difficult. This is the most difficult part for us right now. Finding a way to navigate between both our kids. I think it is probably a common issue for any parent and even more difficult when have one or more children with special needs.

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About The Spectrum Mom

I am mom to two amazing children!! Jade my oldest is ten and Adrian is 7. My life happens to have one beautiful blessing in disguise the chance to be a mom to a child on the Autism Spectrum. Adrian was diagnosed with PDD-NOS on May 28, 2010 shortly after his sixth birthday. Since the start of our lives on the spectrum I have read books, watched numerous programs, found therapists, tried to navigate the public school system and special education. Looked into special diets (Adrian is currently on GFCF and we have seen tremendous improvement) and tried various medicines to help him. In addition to ASD Adrian also is diagnosed with ADHD and a seizure disorder BRE. This blog will mostly be about ASD and my life caring for Adrian.

Posted on October 23, 2011, in Family Life and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. My son who is 5 wishes all the time my daughter (who is 7, with asd) would play with him. He gets extremely frustrated with her not wanting to be around him, or when she gets upset while playing a game, etc. They fight all.the.time. All siblings fight, but this goes beyond typical rivalry. Plus, my daughter takes out a lot on my son, which also isn’t fair. We are always playing referee. I even started my son in therapy, recently, so he would have a place to work through his issues with his sister, because I am lost. It’s a very hard road to navigate.

    • Well it sounds like you are doing all you can. I had thought about putting Jade in therapy too because it must be hard dealing with an ASD brother. We have not though. We just try to give her extra support and let her know she can talk to us. It has been extremely hard to navigate through our son’s diagnosis. Then Jade was also diagnosed five months after Adrian with ADHD and APD. Both children have some form of special need and we are trying to navigate a hosts of diagnosis for both children. It has been difficult. I know what you mean when you say this goes beyond sibling rivilary.

  2. We have a similar problem sometimes….big brother WANTS to play with little brother and little sister, but it’s hard for him to interact with them on their level for him. He doesn’t have the issues that Jade does, however. But they are also close in age (21 months apart) and he REALLY wants to play.

    What works for us is to have him sit by while they are playing something — blocks, Wii, computer, etc. Then he eases his way in. We intervene before he has a chance to take over, teaching him not to do that. It’s HARD!!!! And this is with a typically developing child. If we were trying to do this with one of the other two, I cannot even imagine how much harder it would be. But it’s almost doing a hand-over-hand exercise with him. It sometimes works….but sometimes big brother’s instincts sneak up on all of us (he’s VERY controlling and EXTREMELY competitive)…..

    • That is Jade. Extremely controlling and competitive. Adrian not so much. They race each other home everyday and that’s about as far as he’s willing to go to. Compete with her. She is on his case constantly trying to show him how to do things the way she wants him to do them. He has very little problems with Steve or I jumping in because we do not try to control him or boss him around. I am not sure what drives her behavior but Adrian won’t tolerate it for long.

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