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“Don’t Say That Word”

My son’s favorite phrase for the last two years has been “Don’t Say That Word”. My husband and I joke about it often!!

My son hates people saying any words he deems “Naughty Bad Guy Words”. Even if they are not swear words. He likes to dictate as much of the conversation as possible when he chooses to participate.

My husband and I were just discussing another feature of Adrian’s personality. Yesterday I was with my mother when she was talking about her college days. She was describing to me her test taking skills. There was a day where she had to take a test and the professor did a review of test material. My mother than went on to tell me that she scored a perfect 100 because she could remember everything the professor went over. Down to the paragraph and page number. This was 13 or 14 years ago. She has not mentioned if she can still do that, but did mention that her professor told her that that was a unique talent and asked how she was able to do so. My mother then told me she did not understand why everyone could not do so. She thought it to be a perfectly normal talent.

As I was listening to her all I could think of was Adrian. You see my 7 year old autistic son also has that high memory recollection. He can remember books his read verbatim and read them back to me without looking at the pages ever. So the thing I said next kind of shocked me. Mom that is an autistic trait. Do you think you could be? My mother has suffered terribly her entire life. She had the worst kind of childhood anyone could imagine, married an abuser and thankfully did as best she could to hold it together while raising four kids. She is not perfect but she loves us in her own way. She has always been distant and socially akward. I never even thought about autism and her until then. I always assumed by genetic defect that I passed down to Adrian was from my dad. Maybe it wasn’t though…

She will go with us when we head back to the genetic clinic this December. We are going to review because another child with mine and Adrian’s genetic defect has been found and also has autism. I think my mother maybe tested then.

I had realized I had a don’t say that word too. Autism. As soon as I saw the look on her face I regretted my word. Not that there is anything wrong with her reaction I can’t blame her. I would feel akward too. I had basically implied that my mother may be autistic. Heck I could be too. I don’t ever remember being like my son at any age I wasn’t bothered by people or noise. I did not seek sensory input. I do have the same gene defect though so anything is possible.

I am just saying that no matter how difficult don’t say that words should be discussed. Just like Steve and I discuss with Adrian and Jade the reasons not to swear or use other language. That everybody has accidental slip ups. That we are all human and make mistakes. I believe that it is important to lead by example and to discuss everything. Adrian has helped keep mommy and daddy in check. We all need reminders too 🙂

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